• The the impotence of proofreading

    Could not stop laughing and crying at this. Thanks, Laura Hewett.


    By Taylor Mali

    Has this ever happened to you?
    You work very horde on a paper for English clash
    And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
    and all because you are the word’s liverwurst spoiler.
    Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

    This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
    I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
    that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
    Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
    And that’s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
    Not just anal community colleague,
    because I wouldn’t be happy at anal community colleague.
    I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
    I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
    I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
    but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
    So I needed to improvement
    or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
    (in Prison, New Jersey).

    So I got myself a spell checker
    and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

    But there are several missed aches
    that a spell chukker can’t can’t catch catch.
    For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
    your spell exchequer won’t put it in you.
    And God for billing purposes only
    you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
    your spell Chekhov might replace a word
    with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
    Because what do you want it to douch?
    It only does what you tell it to douche.
    You’re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
    It just goes to show you how embargo
    one careless clit of the mouth can be.

    Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
    The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
    out loud to all of my assmates.
    I’m not joking, I’m totally cereal.
    It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
    being laughed at pubically.

    So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
    One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
    And three: When it comes to proofreading,
    the red penis your friend.

    (www.taylormali.com) 

    #poetry  
    #Mali  
    #humor  

  • 3 months ago